UBS Abandon   BCC 104

Stardate 22001.06

Commander Ceiling Hawke, Executive Officer U.B.S. Abandon

I have set up quite the nice little arrangement as I return from multiple extra-regional diplomatic missions. Being the Chief Ginny Whisperer means her and I can come to an understanding: I provide her with slightly more access to the Abandon's key systems and let her make some I'm-sure-they're-very-minor-and-unimportant changes to the warp core and ordnance arrays, and in return she provides me with a steady supply of Bourbon.

Meanwhile, I've allowed Captain Bryn DuBois to set up a few more firewalls to keep Ginny from messing with the Life Support systems (again) and to stop randomly shocking the ODTs when they get too sober, and in return she provides me with a steady supply of Scotch.

This'll do nicely. As long as I have enough of the good stuff set aside to keep the rest of Command from asking too many questions, I can keep my slack field going for as long as possible.

... at least until we dock in mid-February for the upcoming Capricon conference. I have a sneaking suspicion that'll be the last rest I get for quite a while. Not to mention I keep seeing Yo! Lotta K'leavage in that sector with increasing frequency...

Feck. Where's the Glenfiddich?

Stardate 21911.22

Captain Bryn DuBois, Commanding Officer U.B.S. Abandon

Another successful mission to WindyCon - we took home the award for “Best Non-Alcoholic Drink” for our tribute to some of our favorite space oddities! We are gearing up for a few more fun events to keep the slack field running through the end of the year on the Abandon.

Our Second Breakfast Club will be kicking off… second breakfast… or elevensies… on December 7th in a newly unexplored sector of Palatine. The crew has informed me that they will mutiny if I do not provide enough coffee for them at this event.

On Friday the 13th, we are taking our chances with the Germans at Chicago’s very own Chriskindlemart. I, for one, and very much looking forward to quaffing large amounts of gluhwine and eating my weight in chocolates.

The Tropics of Capricon are nearing closer and closer. Captain Lucy Libidinous Long of the U.B.S. Indycent will be joining us as the Fan Guest of Honor and will likely be depleting our stores of Whaler’s that we have carefully stockpiled over the years. We have time to search out more supplies in advance of her visit and ready ourselves for an influx of visitors from our sister ship.

The Command staff is still mulling over some ideas for our visit to the Wheeling Sector and how best to celebrate the Tropics of Capricon.

Ginny, end log.

Stardate 21908.23

Captain Bryn DuBois, Commanding Officer U.B.S. Abandon

As the newly minted captain, I am still getting my sea legs – but with the help of an excellent command staff and a stellar crew – I am getting settled in nicely. One of the things that I need to get the hang of is sweet talking our dear Ginny into doing what needs to be done around the ship. In speaking with her previous captains, there is an art to it… and I just need to master it.

We have our second… or first temporal incursion in a few days’ time, and it will give the crew some much needed shore leave before we embark on the journey to the Lombard sector. WindyCon is one of our staple missions, and we are glad to be back in November. This time, I have been told, there will be a lot more glitter involved.

Now, where is my raktajino?

Stardate 21211.11

Captain Ron P. Añejo, Commanding Officer U.B.S. Abandon

It's been a good year for the Abandon. The mission to Capricon was its usual success, we rocked DucKon again, winning best party.

Then all of Barfleet descended ("rendezvous" was the word the Commodore used) on the Chicago Cluster for the "mission to Chicon 7". There, we confirmed the fleet's reputation as the most slack-inducing ships in the galaxy. The locals were so grateful they named ours the best party of the gathering.

But after the mission I wasn't feeling quite myself. Seems I became a zombie, more literally than figuratively. But we set down for shore leave at WindyCon where we helped them cure their own zombie outbreak and found a cure for me in the process. Yet again, they seemed to think we threw the best party. All in a day's slack.

So as we are completing our first five year mission, we are looking ahead to more fun and frivolity in the coming year — Ginny, end log. And pour me a gorram drink.

Stardate 21106.19

Captain Ron P. Añejo, Commanding Officer U.B.S. Abandon

Since our successful mission at DucKon, the ship's computer has been insisting that I do one of these log entries. Now it's resorted to extortion — it's locked out the replicator, refusing to produce coffee or booze until I give in.

So, I suppose I'll start with how I first came aboard.

During the Unification War, I joined the Independents and served as a Combat Medic with the 57th Overlanders. To these folk, "Balls and Bayonets" was more than just a nickname. Then the war ended at Serenity Valley.

One day, some odd folks came into the bar I was looking to forget the war in. They were searching for something called "Inebrium" to fuel something called an Inebrium breach so they could get back to their part of the 'Verse. Well, I'd worked plenty with booze, sugar, and caffeine during the war — and after. Since that's what they were trying to combine, I went aboard their ship to lend a hand.

That's when I learned that "Earth-That-Was" still "is". It seems our little system of a dozen planets was a lost little lamb — far out of the way in a corner of the 'Verse. And if these folks hadn't slipped into their breach no one else would have ever found our little corner of the galaxy.

It seems this fella Bacardi and his crew had just "found" this fine ship not too long ago. They renamed it the Abandon, which was fitting since they did everything with abandon.

I started mixing alongside their Medical staff. And sure enough, we eventually struck Inebrium. They loaded it into their system, and we all decided to celebrate with the extra.

When I woke up, three weeks has passed. They had gone back through the breach, and "forgot" to leave me behind. We were in space they called the Chicago Cluster.

Since then, I've moved up the ranks doing what needs doing. When Captain Bacardi stepped aside to take special assignment to help the Party Marines rediscover their mojo, I was the last one to step back and ended up Captain.

So there, I've entered a log.

Computer, end log. And give me a gorram drink!

Stardate 20801.08

*tap* *tap* *tap*... Is this thing on.... Stardate, um.... 20801.08 Captain Ron "Eagle Eye" Bacardi, Commanding Officer UBS Abandon.

I can't believe it.... How stupid could they be to actually all beam over to the station and leave no one on board. Of course I'm not complaining. Maybe when I sober up, I'll remember to complain... but not now. Then again, it's been 7 months already... and we show no signs of sobering up. Of course that's making system upgrades and reprogramming go a bit slower than hoped. But hey... what can you do.

We're currently in a distant parking orbit around Barbase Columbus, while we bring our tactical systems into line with the rest of the fleet, and wipe out all references to the former USS Cerberus. Looks like we hit the jackpot when Cerberus came in for a visit. They came in understaffed, running mostly on automation, and desperately in need of the unique recreational facilities offered by the station. Who knew a Prometheus class ship would come in and everyone would beam over to the station at the same time, and not go back? The built in automation and extra EMH emitters are making our work just that much easier. If things continue at their current pace, we should be good to officially commission the ship.... well... soon.

Myself and my new crew beamed aboard the Cerberus about four months after the crew was last seen aboard and quickly managed to take over all the systems and move the ship out where prying eyes wouldn't see anything. The first order of business was a quick paint job and systems reprogramming to hide any obvious signs about the ship's past life. Of course, once that was done... we had to hold a little celebration, which has put all other work on hold.

With Commodore Erickson's permission we have renamed her UBS Abandon, since clearly she was just sitting there Abandoned and we just exercised salvage rights. I believe we've found a niche in the fleet, besides bringing casual behavior to the Chicago Cluster, looks like we're destined to become the fleet's Heavy Ordinance Vehicle. It's a dangerous job... but thank god we're too drunk to care.

U.B.S. Abandon - BCC-104

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